Question: How can I get my Dad to go with me to do something when he has a significant other, of 20 years, who does needs a break and he relies on her. She has physical limitations and doesn’t like to be out in the sunlight. He answers me by saying she doesn’t want to be alone. Unfortunately she doesn’t back me up on this. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings

 

Question: How can I get my Dad to go with me to do something when he has a significant other, of 20 years, who does needs a break and he relies on her. She has physical limitations and doesn’t like to be out in the sunlight. He answers me by saying she doesn’t want to be alone. Unfortunately she doesn’t back me up on this. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings..

 

Answer: You say she “doesn’t back you up”. I wonder if you have tried talking with her alone about how you could work together to manage this. I’m wondering if your dad only feels safe when he is with his significant other or if he truly believes that she doesn’t want to be alone.

 

If it is the latter, perhaps she could have a friend over and then your father may leave with you. The key here is her willingness to work with you on this. If you have explained that your goal is to help her have a break and you are very happy to take your dad out, and she is still unwilling to talk with you about this, then it may be difficult to change the situation.

 

If your dad is only feeling safe with her at the moment, she may need to reassure him that it is ok to go out with you and that she will be there when he gets back. This will be a situation of trial and error – I hope it goes well for you.